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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Worth a Read...

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6 comments:

Rina, John & Annalisa said...

That was a very good read. I always wonder how "well adjusted" Annalisa is.

She is so full of joy and energy and from the beginning seemed very content with us as long as we fed her and held her.

The first few months together were rough. She was totally terrified of sleeping by herself or go to sleep at all. During the day she was happy and soaked in everything her new life presented her with. I held her a lot and completely wore out the hip hammock I brought in China. We took long walks in it and I held her as close to me as I could. I didn't let other people hold her for a while to make sure she knew we were her parents. I made up games to encourage eye and physical contact and we still play a lot of those games from the early days together.

I remember thinking how remarkably well she was doing and at the same time feared that her "quick adjustment" was a sign of attachment issues.

In many ways she is a normal 2 1/2 year old trying to figure out her limits, on the other hand I try to adjust my parenting style to encourage attachment, trust and love.

Only time will tell how good we are faring.

I'd be interested in knowing other people's prospective about this.

Rina

Salome's Mom said...

Thank you for passing this along. This is something all adoptive parents should read.

kerri said...

Great read, thanks for posting.
Our first daughter took a long time to bond with us.
I too took her quick adjustment as a positive thing but with help of our social worker we saw the signs of some attachment issues.
We worked hard on getting eye contact, held her constantly and sung to her(she now tells me to stop,singing, the nerve,LOL).
Today she is a very happy 5 yr old, well adjusted, bright and beautiful.

nikki said...

Yeah, it would've helped me A LOT if I had read something like that before we went to China.
Insta-bonding we did NOT have. But, she worked thru the things she needed to and we helped her as best we could...and now look at us - she's attached to my hip most days. lol

Lynn~Somewhere In The Sun said...

Thanks for posting this. We are on our 4th adoption and I totally agree with the article!

secret agent said...

very good, thought provoking read
thanks!