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Monday, August 27, 2007

THE SHAMPOO/SCOOTER INCIDENT

As you all know, I sprained both ankles the other day. The 'shampoo/scooter incident' happened the day after the sprain; I was in need of a few things at the grocery store. I hadn't taken any meds since the night before, so it was a good time to get it done.

Paige, Sophia & I entered the store, and I immediately spotted the 'grannie cart', the motorized cart for those that 'need a little help' getting around. Well, that was me, so I shuffled over, and put my crutches in the basket, taking pains to be sure they weren't sticking out too far. Sophia wanted to ride, so I plopped her on my left knee. We made our way through the store, filling the cart with items.

I had just left Paige in the facial cleanser aisle, to choose what she needed, after encouraging her to try the one that had the 50% off sticker on it. (Why not, they probably all have the same ingredients in them!) I was heading out of the aisle, rounding the corner to the right.

Johnny Cash - Hurt...
Turn off the current song playing to hear this one.

What happened next is unclear, fuzzy, & blurry. It happened fast, but in slow motion. As I round the corner, I feel a heavy THUMP on my head. OUCH! THUMP... THUMP... More pain. What in the world??? I shield Sophia from the barrage of shampoo bottles tumbling from up above. The rain storm continues. THUMP... THUMP... I just cover her, and wait for it to stop.

No wait... it gets better.

The whole end aisle shelving unit comes down, onto my shoulder. Yeah. I really need this. A store associate hears all the commotion and comes running to my aid. He pulls the metal shelving unit off my shoulder (thanks man) and stands it back upright. I forget about my ankle pain for a bit. The thumping of shampoo bottles has stopped, so I uncover Sophia to assess the damage. She's fine. Not even shook up. I put her down on the floor, although it's hard to find a bare spot on the floor to place her.

I should probably mention that Paige is still in the facial cleanser aisle, practically hiding at this point, pretending she doesn't know the woman that just created all the mess and chaos in the grocery store. Sophia runs over to her and says, "Mama made a big mess!" I think I heard her 'shhhhh' her, as she was blowing her cover.

The man asks if I'm okay. (Just peachy.) Now that the end shelf display is upright, he starts to move the many bottles (I'll bet there were 100) away from the buggy, so I can move it out of the way. We figure out that the rubber end of my crutch (the bottom) caught the corner of the shelf when I rounded the corner. He keeps asking if I'm okay, and needs to get my personal info (I guess they want to know who might sue them?) I give it. I am totally horrified and embarrassed. Will I sue? No, that would be ridiculous. My bruises will heal, and I'm not one of those that is looking for a payoff. With that said, the whole shelf shouldn't have come crashing down on a customer, they certainly would be liable for that. I guess they're just lucky it happened to me.

My hands are shaking as I pull down into the next aisle, and I start to cry. Pain, embarrassment, surprise, you name it. Paige and Sophia follow me (10 steps behind), and we get our last item. Paige reaches down under the buggy and pulls out 2 more bottles of shampoo. We giggle. I want to get out of there so fast, you have no idea. I hear more associates coming to help clean up the mess, and put the display back together. "What in the world happened???" they ask. I keep moving towards the front of the store. We get out of there without another incident. I joke with Paige that I'll have to blog about this, she begs me not to. "Mom... we don't have to tell ANYONE, no one needs to know about this!" lol Spoken from the heart of a 13 year old...

I go home, take a Vicodin and go to bed. Later in the day I assess my new injuries. I have a goose egg on my forehead, (if you look closely you can see the word 'Suave') and a pretty good bruise on my arm and shoulder.

DH still isn't home at this point, but I'm sure he'll get a kick out of this story for years to come. He's still saying, (with head shaking) "I still don't know how you sprained BOTH ankles..."

34 comments:

secret agent said...

I'm sorry.....but that's the funniest thing I've heard in a while
about spewed my coffee!!!

kris said...

Glad I had my Depends on this morning... holy cow.

Jewels of My Heart said...

Oh, you poor thing.... I want to apologize for laughing because I know it was horrible.( and painful)
Things will surely get better... please BE CAREFUL you are on a roll. hehee
Hang in there I know it has to be hard and hopefully your hubby will be home soon.
Come on over to my place, I have an award for you.
God bless you
Daleea

kerri said...

First, I want to say going out with 2 sprained ankles is the bravest!!
Then I will apologize for laughing my arse off, that is the funniest thing I have read in a while, even funnier that you had a 13 yr old along to humiliate!!!!
Still snickering.

tegdirb92 said...

Hi,
Oh my goodness...I had to laugh :)

BTW--you wanted the recipe for the coffeecake, it can be found HERE

Get better soon!!
Bridget

LaLa said...

Poor thing...but it is funny since it wasn't me I guess. Your injuries aren't funny though...wow, what a run of bad luck. Hope your teen has recovered from the embarassment LOL

Rina, John & Annalisa said...

I can understand Paige being embarrassed but Sophia is a quick learner as she skedaddled out of your lap and ran to Paige...got to laugh at that (although I'm sure you didn't think it was all that funny at the time)! It will make it for a good story once the pain goes away.

By the way the pictures of Sophia and Diesel are adorable. I can't believe he's almost as tall as she is.

Rina

Kimber said...

OUCH! I am so sorry for your pain but I must agree with secret agent...it does read as funny!
Feel better soon:)
Kim

Sarah said...

Oh no!! That sounds like something that would definitely happen to me! You poor thing! And, what an amazing mother to think of her poor defenseless little angel in her lap and shielding her from the shampoo attack!!

What a great story to add to your injuries!!

Sarah and Sophie~Bug

BrendaR said...

Well, Paige is a good secret keeper, since this is the 1st we have heard of this story!!!!!! ;)

Wow! I hear bad luck comes in 3's - watch out!

mommy24treasures said...

OH MY GOODNESS DEAR! What are we going to do with you?!?!
Please BE CAREFUL! Or we will have to wrap you in bubble wrap.

Christie said...

Well, you were right a couple posts ago - can't top that.

I've broken the same ankle three times and sprained it over the years about a dozen times - but I have to say, I've never pulled an entire shelf of products down on myself while at the grocery store and gimping it in a scooter.

That one takes the cake!

Hope you're feeling less ouchy soon!?!?

Beverly said...

Okay I can't read you at work anymore. Sorry but I can't stop laughing. Hope the suave move if quickly forgotten esp by your totally embarassed daughter.

Beverly

Abby's Mom said...

Oh MY :)

C.J. said...

Holy smoke...glad you survived. You have my apologies for laughing like a loon at you.

At least it wasn't the 'suppositories in glass bottles' rack that came down.

crazylady said...

I'll stay off the sidewalks when in your part of town.

I'm sure there is a nursing home close by that will give you some lessons.

Really,I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing AT you!

Lauren said...

WOW! You definately didn't need that. I hope you get to feeling better soon.

Ms. Dragonfly said...

wtf?! were you born on a bad moon rising??

Diana said...

Too funny for words..I am so sorry to hear about your sprained ankles. Can't say as I have ever heard of anyone spraining BOTH at the same time.....
Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Charlotte said...

Hi again, my name is Charlotte and I signed your first guest book some time ago.
I log on first thing every morning and check out my favorite blogs, yours being one of them.
My adoption story is back on Journey to Sophia, check it out when you have some time and are not medicated!!
Our beautiful boy comes from Cambodia and I think you will enjoy reading about the miracles that God provided for our family.
I look forward to hearing from you.
I live in Calgary, Alberta. Canada
Email address is cseehawer@hotmail.com
I will pray for speedy recovery and safe driving in your granny cart.
Thanks for the laughs!!!

Lisa said...

You poor thing! Bless your heart! I am glad that you can find the humor in it all. Seriously, I hope you do heal quickly and don't hurt yourself again.

secret agent said...

I am so LOVING your new avatar

crazylady said...

have you fallen and can't get up?

2China4Ayla said...

You poor thing.....maybe the store has a video of the whole event that you could send into AFV and collect some $$$ for the trauma. :o) Kidding of course, it is horrible...and I apologize also for shaking my head with a grin on my face as I read it. Sounds like something that would happen to me. By the way we have talked about the appt. for several days and she sticks her lip out and says "no."

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

Hey you. Are you feeling better? I think you may need to take a drivers test in order to drive the "cart"!

Sophie's Mom said...

Not feeling better, but gimping around. I have another doctor's appointment in the morning.

It's so hard to see stuff that needs to get done around here, and not be able to do it.

Paige has been a big help, though. :)

Chris & Deb said...

LOL!!!!!! I was laughing during your entire post. It cracked me up as I could see myself in your very situation....and I know my husband would agree!

Lynn said...

It's only funny when it's not happening to you! Mercy, I think you need to ask for prayers...or maybe just stay home!

Feel better, it can't get worse, can it?

Lori said...

Oh my goodness, I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying. This is the funniest thing I've read since I can't remember when. (I did stop for a brief moment and felt bad when you said you went around the corner and cried but I started laughing again when your girls pulled two more bottles out from under the cart)
I can just picture this whole scene, and I'm sorry for your pain and the embarrassment, and I do hope you feel better soon.
Hope the shampoo tatoo on your arm goes away.
And the music...that topped it all off for me! Funny! :)
ps HOW did you break both ankles?!

Nicole said...

Christine,

You poor thing! I wish I was there to help! (and watch any upcoming mishaps!) Praying for you (and Paige)! Love ya!

Nancy said...

Oh, My Word!
Woman, you need to stay indoors under heavy sedation!

Jeff and Valerie said...

Oh my gosh I am crying from laughing so hard. Sad story, but you wrote it so funny. Thanks.

Sam said...

Holy Cow Woman!!!! I've been following along on your adventures but Blogger wouldn't let me post. You poor thing!!! Promise me you won't go outside if there is any chance of a storm. I'm afraid you will get hit by lightning! I really want to meet you some day, but I'm scared of you!!!! Please take care.

Kathleen said...

I'm so sorry you hurt yourself! Hope you feel better but before I go...I guess it's true when they say comedy comes out of tragedy!