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Monday, January 28, 2008

Funny Story: Gas and Ducks

DUCK

So, the other day someone in the family (who agreed I could put this on the blog only if they remained nameless...) passed gas. It was a loud toot.

They looked at Sophia, who was sitting right there, and said: "What was that?"
Sophia shrugged.
To which the person replied, "It sounded like a duck!"
"Yeah, a duck in your BUNS!" Sophia quickly came back with.

Oh my... that's just plain funny. Out of the mouths of babes. And, for those of you that think that is gross, you MUST read below... you KNOW you do it too...

According to Dr. Michael D. Levitt, M.D., and John H. Bond, M.D., most of us pass somewhere between 200 and 2,000 ml of gas per day (average, about 600 ml) in roughly 13-14 passages. These emissions are composed of five gasses: nitrogen (N2), oxygen (O2), carbon dioxide (CO2), hydrogen (H2), and methane (CH4). Nitrogen usually predominates, followed by variable concentrations of carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane, and very low levels of oxygen. Gas gets into our guts by air swallowing (which accounts for very little), production within the bowel and colon (which accounts for a lot), and diffusion from the blood. As far as those who study these things can figure out, most air that is swallowed comes out the way it went in: it is belched or "eructed," as the textbook informed me. Most of the nitrogen is accounted for by diffusion from blood to bowel; it may give flatus some of its bang but little of its bite.

10 comments:

kerri said...

ROTFL!!!
I can remember when Jennifer was little we were sitting in a mall having lunch and she shrieked at the top of her lungs with laughter and replied "Mom, my bum just burped"
Yes, out of the mouth of babes...
My girls think their bodily functions are hilarious, I hope this too shall pass(quicker the better, LOL).

Sam said...

An entire post about toots. Why is it I'm not shocked? The other day Cullen stunk, seriously!! Kieren looked at him, wrinkled up her nose, waved her hand in front of her face and actually said a full sentence on her own. What was that historic phrase? "He STINKS!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

cougchick said...

that girl is quick with the comebacks.

Beverly said...

Glenys refuses to admit to passing gas even if it is loud, well ever. she blames it on the dog, and she didn't learn it from me.

Beverly

Lauren and Ed said...

I love a gal with a sense of humor!

nikki said...

That is so funny!
We are a gassy family over here (and not ashamed to admit it!)
You'll have to check out my "Weird Wednesday" picture tommorrow - it will be right up your alley!

Ben said...

Hahahahahahahahaha I will never get over this hahahahahahahahaa

secret agent said...

how pleasant

Rony said...

That explains the gas looming over our abode! You know we're one explosion just waiting to happen. Don't light a match if you're in our area.

crazylady said...

thanks Sphincter police!
Everything and MORE I ever needed to know about volatile gases.